DEPRESSED,SAD,EMOTIONLY DOWN!!

dont make me do this!

even worse once u push me to my limits!
thts the only way i'm going then!

i'm totally down for this festive season...there is nothing seems to be right ever in my father eyes that i do!
i know i'm abit soft and all....who fucking cares!!thats who i am,

"THIS IS THE REAL ME,TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT"..

my father is soo stubborn that everything he says is right wen its totally clear doesnt make any sense or its wrong..there is nothing to be said once he had made decision..
he dont even talk things out...wht to his reason he wans my computer out from my room..
he dont even tell me properly...explain why and talks things out whether just wanna HIT me!do u think that way of HITTING me will help!gosh..it makes things worst...i hate you even more!
and his tone while he talks to me...is totally not the normal tone wen u talk to some1,its like he is scolding you in a very angry way!

since donno wen my father been hitting me with all sorts or form...
there is the worst where he even took his belt give a full hard swing towards me...it hurts like shit!!
there is so many incident where he hit me i still can rmb so clearly in my mind...i will never forget!!its like hidden scars that only me myself carry each day inside of me!

my father dont care how i feel...he dont even know wht is my needs!
he is too bz out there working donno wht and comes back late....so do u think my dad know who i am when he dont even spent quality time with his own family!!
even on wkends he is bz working or out with his frens...that wht i was told by my mom..
all the excuses.....even wen he had done the BIG wrong and hurting my mom feelings!
and i heard its not even the first time,second time!
so pls....dont take the excuses that your my father means i hav to listen to every word you say!!look at yourself in the mirrow......GET YOURSELF RIGHT FIRST!

i know every1 is not perfect.....
but i hav had it....ENOUGH of this!
your driving me NUTS...
ARH............!!!